Romeo and Romeo? : A Tale of Two MALE Lovers!
by Hardcore G A S M
Summary: In a weird turn of events The Gang's English lit. class has been chosen to do the school play, Romeo and Juliet! But what happens when our Mr.Kaiba is chosen for the job as Romeo and his Juliet is his worst enemy? KaixJou. Rated for language/sexualcontent
1. A Rose by any other Gender?

Romeo and… Romeo? : A Tale of Two MALE Lovers

By Hardcore G A S M

Hi guys! My name is Hardcore G A S M but please call me Billy. :3 This is not my first fanfiction on here but it is my first under this alias (name). It is very funny. So says my twin sister. However, many of my anime-crazed friends agree with her so… they decidedly forced me to put this up. –Looks behind her and sees friends with torches and pitchforks- Flames are ignored and I hope you enjoy KaixJou Pairings. I know I do. xD All of the stuff in here belongs to either Kazuki Takahashi, Square Enix (because I have some final fantasy characters in here), Billy Shakespeare, or me. (The plot and some of my OC's)

Chapter One

"A rose by any other… gender?"

He drummed his fingers on the desktop rhythmically with the clock that he watched… intensely. Tick thump tock thump. His foot wiggling with the near silent orchestra he composed. Him impatient? No, never. _C'mon already! I am way too eager to get out of this damn class. _–Sigh- The boy, 17, thought impatiently. His name is Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corporations, and a "not-so-eccentric" billionaire.

"All right class you may begin to pack up…" the old hag named Ms.Wilson droned, "but there is something I want to mention to all of you kids." Her class groaned in disappointment. They knew that the upcoming speech meant either more work for them… or there was hell to pay.

"Every year all of the English teachers put their name in a hat. The head principal then chooses one and that teacher's class must do a play. This year… that class is you kids!" she added with joy, though the happiness in the entire class has been drained. Kaiba Looked away from the clock for the first time in an hour and stared at his teacher. _Is this Bitch serious? There is now way in hell that I am going to do some frilly little "Play". _He rolled his eyes and continued to stare at the teacher as she blabbed on.

"We will now be performing something classic but entertaining. Romeo & Juliet. I will be assigning parts… now." she hissed, mostly at the last part. Kaiba then heard a groan come from the creature behind him. He turned around to see the blonde mop of hair bad his head against the desk in frustration. Seeing this, Kaiba tried to stifle a laugh but it did not go unnoticed by the blonde.

His name, Jounouchi Katsuya, or Jou for short. He, also being 17, is the CEO of "Shit-Nothing" and the eccentric poor kid. He had seen a lot in his years. 'Nuff said. (I 3 you Jou) Jou raised his head to glare at the blue-eyed CEO… then flip him off. (Give him the finger, fly him the bird, ect.)

The merry band of teens Kaiba called the "Geek Squad," the "Dork Patrol," and more recently the "Loser Brigade," began laughing uncontrollably at the "Mutt's" reaction… but quietly enough so that the demon they called their teacher would not hear. The group consisted of Yugi Mouto and his identical counterpart Atem, Tristan Taylor, Anzu Mazaki, Ryou Hiroshima and his GRANDLY evil; counterpart Bakura, Marik Ishtar and his "twin" Malik, Cloud Strife, Reno, Rude, and the quiet and self-contained Aerith Gainsborough, as well as Cloud's new girlfriend, Tifa Lockheart. However, only a few of the aforementioned people were actually there. If they were all there however, it probably would have killed Kaiba slowly. Starting with his mind.

Kaiba seethed quietly in his chair trying to keep himself from mauling Jou to death. "All right class. All of your names are in this box right here. I will say the characters name, pull out on of your names and you will be assigned to that character. But don't worry. We are also having volunteers join us in our little play. Mostly people whom you all associate with and whom I was able to get a hold of by phone. So, not all of you will have to be in the show. Well, here I go!" She slowly then began to call characters and names. Some teens groaned in dissatisfaction while other cheered in pure joy. When it came down to the parts in the play, it went like this…

Montague House:

Lord Montague- Yugi Mouto

Lady Montague- Anzu Mazaki (to both of their pure elation)

Benvolio- Tristan Taylor

Baithasar- Marik Ishtar

Abram- Malik Ishtar

Capulets:

Lord Capulet – Cloud Strife

Lady Capulet- Tifa Lockheart

Tybalt- Bakura Hiroshima

Nurse- Miho Korakou (She is from season zero of Yugioh)

Peter- Ryou Hiroshima

Sampson- Rex Raptor

Gregory- Weevil Underwood

An old man- (A/N: probably Gramps but I haven't decided yet)

Other:

Prince Escalus- Barrio Valdez (lol random guy)

Mercutio- Reno

Friar Laurance- Barret Wallace

Friar John- Rude (These two, Barret and Rude, are both the token black guys. I made them friars)

Count Paris- Rayden Seigmann (oc)

Apothecary- Ryan Waczek (He was the apothecary in our class version and it was hilarious whenever he spoke. He sounded like a cat being beat against a wall. IT WAS FUNNY.)

Page- 'as previously volunteered' Mako Tsunami (Freaky fish guy lol for those of you who love the abridged series)

Chief Watson- 'as previously volunteered' Odion Ishtar

Three Musicians- 'as previously volunteered' Valon, Alistar, and Rafiel

An Officer- 'as previously volunteered' Mai Valentine

Citizens- Stage hands and other volunteers

The Chorus (omnipotent voice)- 'as previously volunteered' Mokuba Kaiba

Romeo-

Juliet-

It all came down to what happened next. Kaiba, thinking that he would just be stuck with stage duty, was relieved greatly. "All right… our two main characters. Romeo Montague is… -pulls name- Kaiba Seto?" she yelled in shock. Kaiba's jaw dropped. He heard the loud and obnoxious laughter coming from the mutt and his friends. He closed his mouth and grit his teeth. The girls who had not been picked for a part, squealed in delight. They had a chance to "make-out" with Seto Kaiba. He was thoroughly pissed.

"Let's see now… SETTLE DOWN!" yelled Ms.Wilson at the chattering girls, "Thank you. Juliet of the Capulets will be… -pulls name-… Hmmm. Maybe not this name," Ms.Wilson said. All of the girls in the class screamed in unison a loud "NO!" and said whoever it was has to be Juliet, each sure of themselves that it was one of them. Ms.Wilson sighed and mouthed he OK. "Juliet of the Capulets will be… Jounouchi Katsuya." She sighed defeated. Jou turned pale. He heard people gasp in shock and girls begin to cry. He felt his blood drain from his face and goes to his toes. Jou looked at Kaiba. He too looked equally as pale as he was pissed. Jou jumped up.

"I object! T-that is disgusting! Rather it is more uncomforting… but nonetheless it is a mockery to Shakespeare's name!" he argued rather convincingly. The sad girls who had lost their chance began to nod in agreement feverishly.

"But Jou… back in Billy's time… there were ONLY male actors. And they were OK with that…" Ms.Wilson added. Jou began to stutter and the girls began to bawl in disappointment. Kaiba jumped up. "I refuse to be made a fool of! This will NEVER EVER HAPPEN!!" Kaiba screamed. Everyone shut up in shock. Kaiba had never lost his temper this bad before.

"Im sorry boys… but if you want to pass my class you will do this… or I will give you two detention for the rest of you high school lives with… Mr. Birkender." She threatened. Everyone gasped. Mr.Birkender had been convicted of child porn and pedophilia 18 times. However, he a had a good lawyer. A DAMNED good lawyer. Any boy (or man) would know to stay away from… it. He was that creepy. Jou and Kaiba shuddered in disgust. They would rather be stuck with each other rather than be stuck with him. They sat down and looked at each other. All of the girls began to cry again because they had yet again missed their chance.

-Kaiba's POV-

_Godammit! I am screwed._

_C'mon… you know your jumping up and down in joy._

_No! I am NOT!_

_Yes you are. Because you think Jou is sexy._

_NO I DO NOT. Now shut up, Brain!_

Kaiba shrugged off the thing he called his conscience and began to wallow in self pity. Misery included. The bell signaling the end of school then rung.

-Jou's POV-

_FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK._

_I hope I have gotten my point across._

_Yes. Yes you did. Now excuse me while I wash my ears out._

The two sat in their chairs for a while even though the bell had rung. They knew they were in for quite the ride. They then sighed and said quietly in unison…

"Damn."

The End of Chapter One! Hope you guys liked it! R7R! Please people please. Thank you. And I will have the next one up soon. In less than a week. But I can't truly promise that. xD


	2. To be Romeo or not to be Romeo

Hey guys! It's me again. :3

Short chapter this time. Damn my English teacher and her giving me two projects at the same time. X

If you haven't noticed I like to swear a lot.

But I like mudkips more…. ITS OVER NINETHOUSAND. D;

Chapter Two

"To be Romeo or Not to be Romeo… THAT is the _real_ question!"

"HAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA!" Reno laughed maliciously, "I-I think I'm going to… pee my PANTS! Haha!" Jou sat there hitting his head against the table repeatedly as tried to block out the torture ensuing. You know when a friend is going a little too far with a bad joke and he starts to get a little too into it, therefore making the joke crappy? Yeah… that's what is happening right now.

'It's ok Jou… I'm sure she won't make you guys KISS… or anything." Anzu quietly stated with Yugi and Yami nodding their heads in the background. Jou bolted up in a realization. His eyes widened and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck go up. For a second, he looked like more a cat than a dog.

_Holy Shit! I'm going to have to kiss that bastard? FUCK!_

_Oh… you know you want him. You want his HOT. STEAMY. BODY._

_What the… NO I DO NOT. I'm… straight._

_Hey… so is spaghetti until you… warm it up a little. :D_

_Oh my god… Go AWAY!_

Jou's eyes widened. Maybe he IS gay. He would have put up a better fight if he wasn't somewhat attracted to… he shuddered at the thought. Bakura slid next to him at the lunch table with a sly grin. "Maybe… Jou's got the hots for Kaiba! –Snigger-." Marik and Malik began to giggle. "Yeah, JOU LIKES MANGINA!AN.1 HAHHAHAHHAHHA!" Malik laughed evilly. Jou's face turned a bright pink in embarrassment. As Bakura was laughing, Tifa and Anzu smacked him upside the head… as well as Malik and Marik.

"Bakura! Malik and Marik! As far as I'm concerned you shouldn't be talking. I saw you last week watching a gay porno if I'm not mistaken!" Ryou dejected evilly. Malik, Marik, and Bakura shut up almost instantly. The group began to laugh… even the unusually quiet man named cloud gave quite a snicker. He actually seemed to be laughing the hardest.

Jou smiled softly but slowly looked down to the hands he was fiddling with.

_Maybe they are right… Maybe- I want to do this!?_

-Kaiba's POV-

_Well… after trashing almost everything in my office… I think I've vented enough of my BLINDING FURY!_

Kaiba went to his office for lunch to steer clear of the 'Geek Squad.' Especially, Jou.

_I am going to KILL Jou if he starts laughing about this. THIS IS NOT FUNNY, GOD! NOT FUNNY!_

_Oh…quiet down. Some people are trying to get some sleep._

_This is my brain. I can yell at myself all I want!_

_Fine then. But just so you know… I KNOW YOU THINK JOU IS A SEXY PIECE OF ASS. Lol._

_W-what?! I do NOT think Katsuya is… HOT! He is a goddamned mutt!_

_So you're in to bestiality: How about you explain that one day in PE…._

Kaiba's eyes widened. He hadn't thought of that day in a while. And he wished he hadn't brought it back up.

-FLASHBACK-

_Kaiba had just finished changing when he noticed Jou round the corner with nothing but a towel on. He was soaking wet from the shower he took and he smelled of Lavender and Vanilla. _

_AN. 2 Kaiba's favorite scents. His surprisingly well built body was beaded with water. He made puddles as he walked. His blonde hair looked almost brown due to it being so water logged perhaps. Jou went over to his locker and turned the combination. 11-24-36. "What are you _

_looking at Moneybags?" Jou hissed. Kaiba hadn't even realized he was staring. He blushed slightly and gave a small "Hmph." He proceeded to walk away when he realized something seemed wrong. Very wrong. He had this feeling…. down there. Yep, he then looked down. He had never thought it possible but… yes. Kaiba had indeed gotten an erection. FROM A GUY, nonetheless. His face turned bright red._

I CAN'T GO AROUND Like…. LIKE THIS!!

_Kaiba panicked. He ran in to the bathrooms in front of him. He stripped his clothes and jumped in to the shower. It was cold but it worked. The shock helped. He began to feel… IT go away. He hopped out of the shower and grabbed the towel the school provided. He just stood there for awhile on the damp tiled floor._

God Damn it.

-END FLASHBACK-

End of Chapter Two…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Lololololol. LALILULELO. I NEED SCISSORS 61.

X3

Well there you have it. Chapter two is completed. THIS IS A TRIUMPH. IM MAKING A NOTE HERE: HUGE SUCCESS! I love Still alive. It's a song by Jonathan Coultan. Look it up. :3

AN. 1Mangina- The male version of a vagina. Aka BUTT. D;

AN. 2 I have vanilla lavender soap and it's my fav so I bet Kaiba would like it too. :D


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